The following list is not exhaustive, but it reveals nine behaviors to avoid if one wants to increase one’s emotional intelligence and performance.
They don’t let anyone spoil their fun
If one needs to compare yourself to others to evaluate one’s pleasure and satisfaction, one is no longer in control of one’s happiness. When emotionally intelligent people are happy with what they have done, they do not let the opinion or success of anyone spoil their well-being.
If it is impossible to ignore the opinions of others, it should not be relied upon too much either. So whatever people think or do, you control your self-esteem. One thing is certain: one is never as good or as bad as others say.
They don’t forget
If emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, they don’t forget. They let go to move forward, but don’t necessarily give them a second chance. Unwilling to be held back by the mistakes of others, they put them aside and carefully protect themselves from future harm.
They don’t let themselves be shot
They know how important it is to keep fighting. In the event of a conflict, uncontrolled emotion leads to a turn and a battle that could cause serious damage. If one listens to one’s emotions, one chooses one’s battles with discernment and defends one’s positions wisely.
For them, perfection is not a priority
Perfection is not a goal in itself for them, because it does not exist. Human beings are fallible by nature. If you’re trying to be perfect, you have a nagging sense of failure and you spend your time lamenting what you missed and what you should have done rather than rejoice in what you’ve achieved.
They don’t live in the past
Failure can erode self-confidence and future success. Most of the time, you fail because you have taken risks trying to complete a difficult project. Emotionally intelligent people know that success depends on our ability to overcome our failures, which is impossible when we live in the past. Anything worth trying carries risks and we cannot let failure prevent us from believing in our ability to succeed. This is what happens when we live in the past: it obscures the present and prevents us from moving forward.
They don’t fixate on problems
Our emotional state depends on what we focus on. When you fixate on your problems, you let yourself be consumed by negative emotions and stress, which hinders your performance. If you try to improve the situation, you gain a sense of personal efficiency that produces positive emotions and increases your performance. Emotionally intelligent people do not dwell on problems because they know that it is more effective to be interested in solutions.
They don’t surround themselves with negative people
People who complain are to be avoided because they indulge in their difficulties and fail to focus on solutions. In order to feel better, they seek to lead others into self-pity. Faced with such people, we fear being rude or insensitive but we quickly fell into this negative emotional spiral. Therefore, limits must be set and kept at a distance if necessary, as one would with respect to a smoker. A good way to set limits is to ask them how they plan to deal with their problems. Either they will shut up or they will give a constructive tour of the conversation.
They don’t hold grudges
The negative emotions that accompany the grudge are actually a stress reaction. Just thinking about the event puts the body in fight or flight mode. As much as such a reaction is essential when the threat is imminent, as much, when it comes to an ancient history, this state of stress can wreak havoc and have disastrous physical consequences. Researchers at Emory University have shown that stress promotes blood pressure and heart problems. A grudge means stress, what emotionally intelligent people avoid at all costs. Learning to pass the sponge will help you feel better and will be good for your health.
They only say yes when they really want to
A study conducted by the University of California, San Francisco reveals that the more difficult it is to say no, the more likely you are to experience stress, overwork, and even depression. Saying no is indeed a huge challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that should not be afraid to use.